I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Be still, my beating vagina.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
