Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize