"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize