I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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