In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
