yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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