She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
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He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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