4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
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Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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