My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
