I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
So much rum. So many feels.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Randomize
