Ambien. No doubt about it.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
You can't just leave with hair like that
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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