I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
