And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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