i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
