so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
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The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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