Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
