cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
