I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
