Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
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