Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
