i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
