in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
