2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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