Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize