Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
