my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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