Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Randomize
