something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
me + whiskey = a bad person
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize