Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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