part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
