I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
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I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
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Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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