Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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