i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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