So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Is her dick bigger than yours?
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