tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
