I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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