I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
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Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Drunk is not a location!
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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