if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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