Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
