I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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