he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize