Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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