found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
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