I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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