Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
