All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
