have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
my god I love twenty year old dicks
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
