ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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