Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
