If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I have already put on my inside pants.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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