I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
one two three fourrrrnication!
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize