How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
