you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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