I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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