pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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