I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
