but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Let's get the cat blown out
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
