i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
