get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
